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Later he made his way to New York City, where he met my mother, who is Colombian. Selected by whom became and remains my dilemma.
I talked around it, mumbling about how I was trying to figure out who I was or. There was nothing wrong with her at all.
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It just kind of happened. Over the years I have dated brown women and black women, but mostly white women.
I also got weird vibes from some white people, namely the parents of the women I was dating.
And the ones who asked me if I speak Mexican. Yes, that is Kpln a thing. Which means that in the eyes of others, the color of the women I date is a big deal. I see people watching me with a stink eye, noses turned up, as if they think black and brown people would somehow be better off if I dumped my white girlfriend.
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I started reading James Baldwin, Ta-Nehisi Coates and other black and brown authors looking for guidance, a road map, help on what it means to be a brown man in the world.
Like: Yes, our bodies have been colonized.
Yes, I am a child of blackness. Yes, the black body Oberhausen beautyful girls done more for society than it has gotten in return. Yes, society seems to want to embrace a lot of things associated with blackness without actually being black.
How did we get here? If everyone is so woke, why are things so terrible? Anyway, what am I supposed to do? How do I love as a brown body in the world in a way that makes everybody happy? Am I the problem or is everyone else?
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